Non-Awkward Ways to Start and End Networking Conversations

Published on Forbes: Mar. 6, 2012
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When I first started attending networking events, I was terrified to approach large groups of strangers. I watched some of my peers dive into these situations with ease, and wondered how on earth they made it look so natural. Meanwhile, I found myself sitting awkwardly alone, clutching a cocktail, and desperately brainstorming conversation topics.

Fortunately, I’ve improved my networking skills over the years, and am much less likely now to stick out like a sore thumb at events. I’ve learned that the most important part of successful networking is to have a good icebreaker to start a conversation and a smooth closing statement for when you’re ready to move on.

Here are a few inside tips to help you master the art of starting and ending those tricky conversations:

Opening Lines

To Start a Conversation

A simple introduction can transition into a solid conversation if you’re willing to share a bit about yourself right off the bat.

Try: Hi, I’m Jessica and I work in the PR department at Company X. My role has been super challenging lately because of all the new regulations around paid placements in media spots. Have you been dealing with that, too?

To Make a Friend

A big event can be a lot more fun (and a lot less intimidating) if you can find a pal to stick by your side. Asking someone to explore different areas with you is a nice way to talk with less pressure.

Try: Hi, have you been to the silent auction table yet? I’m heading over there now and would love some company.

To Get Advice

If you’re interested in a new opportunity or area of work, networking is a great way to get more information. Don’t be afraid to ask someone candid questions after giving some background on why you’re interested.

Try: Hi, I see that you work at Company X. I’ve always been interested in their work, and recently saw a position open up that I’m thinking about applying to. Do you have any advice for me? What’s it like working there?

To Get Your Bearings

Large conferences and events can be pretty overwhelming. If you’re a first-time attendee, approaching someone for assistance can be an easy way to start a conversation. Look for someone who seems familiar with the scene and ask for an insider tip.

Try: Hi, I’ve never been to this event before. You look like a regular—any tips you could give me on what to expect? What are the best sessions here?

To Lighten the Mood

When in doubt, ask a question to prompt a conversation. Stick with light, generic topics, and offer them with a smile.

Try: How many people do you think are here? Can you believe we have to wear these awful nametags? Were you here last year when the keynote speaker was late?

Parting Ways

The icebreakers above can be the launching pad you need to start networking and feel more comfortable in an unfamiliar situation. But unless you’re lucky enough to stumble into your soul mate at a trade show, you’ll eventually need a natural way to exit a conversation. A good rule of thumb is to talk for five to 10 minutes—and then move on.

Here are some closing statements that are polite, but still get the point across that it’s time to hit the road:

To Exit Gracefully

Sometimes, even when you’ve met someone interesting, the time comes when you’re ready to peruse the rest of the event. This is a great time to hand off one of those business cards burning a hole in your pocket.

Try: Steve, it was really a pleasure speaking with you. I’m going to take a look at some of the other exhibits here, but if I don’t run into you later, I hope to see you at another event soon.

To Connect Later On

When someone you’ve met seems like a valuable contact, make sure you exchange information before you part. You can even suggest a future meeting to speak one-on-one.

Try: Margaret, I have to head out right now, but I really enjoyed learning more about your work. Could I get your contact info to schedule a time for us to finish our conversation?

To Plan a Follow-up Date

If you think that you’ll run into a new contact at another upcoming event, why not plan to attend together? This helps you build a relationship with a good connection and can help you feel more comfortable at that next event.

Try: I had a great time talking with you—are you planning to go to the expo next month? It seems like something that would be relevant to both of us, so maybe we could go together.

To Get Advice and Get Out the Door

A new contact can be a valuable resource, but that doesn’t mean you need a shadow all night. When it’s time to part ways, be honest that you’d like to follow up at a later date, and then say a polite goodbye.

Try: Mike, I’m in a tricky stage in my career and wonder if I could pick your brain for advice over lunch some time soon. I need to say hello to a few others here, but can we plan to connect next week?

To Just Flee the Scene

Sometimes, you end up talking to someone who really isn’t that pleasant or interesting. I once got trapped in an endless conversation about uses for old dryer sheets (I wish I was kidding). When you’re struggling for more conversation and need a reprieve, be kind, but assertive.

Try: Laura, it’s been great getting to know you, but I need to say hello to a few more folks around here. I hope you have a great evening.

Networking isn’t always smooth sailing, and most of us have at least a few awkward experiences to share. But learning how to start and close conversations is one of the best ways to master this important skill. With any luck, you’ll make some connections, you’ll find some event buddies, and you’ll gain some helpful professional resources.

What You Should Know Before Buying a Home

Published on Forbes: Feb. 3, 2012

When I moved out of my parents’ house and into my freshman dorm room, I had no idea that my existing concept of “home” would change so dramatically. Throughout college and my first few years in the real world, I found a reason to move every single year. Yes, really—nine times in nine years, always during the summer, and never without a flight of stairs on at least one end. It’s a small wonder no one was ever seriously hurt on account of my furniture.

As I grew a little older (and a wee bit more mature), I was feeling like a permanent nomad and longed to live somewhere for a matter of years—not months—that actually felt like a home. Not to mention, as I started to create a professional life, it felt a little less-than-professional coming home to a noisy apartment complex where I had to fight someone for a parking space.

But before I was officially ready to take the home-ownership plunge, I reached out to my family and friends for advice and spent some time doing online research. This was overwhelming to say the least—there’s a lot of information out there, and a lot of opinions on the best route to take. Nevertheless, I’m glad I did it. I learned about mortgage options, escrow accounts, and HOA fees, and doing my own research gave me a good look at the entire process and a better idea of what to anticipate.

And then, the search began.

It took several months and a minor emotional roller coaster, but I closed on my first house in early 2009. It was a three bedroom, two bath built in the 1950s and completely restored. I loved the house, the neighborhood, and, let’s be honest, the fact that I wouldn’t be renting a U-Haul any time soon.

The process wasn’t always the smoothest, and it probably isn’t for any first-time home buyer. But looking back, there are five key pieces of advice that I would share with anyone just starting the search. Here’s what you should know now, that I didn’t know then.

1. The Right Realtor Will Lead You to the Right House

I didn’t want to pick a real estate agent out of the blue, and found mine through a mutual family friend. We hit it off immediately—I trusted her and had full confidence in her skills. More importantly, she listened (to everything!). I never had to repeat my preferences and I wasn’t pressured into anything.

This, however, is definitely not everyone’s experience. I can’t stress enough how important it is to choose someone who you feel completely comfortable with, who listens to your priorities and your concerns, and who has your best interests at heart. Not only is this a major life decision, but you’re going to be spending a lot of time with this person.

2. Educate Yourself

I compare buying a house to planning a wedding or expecting a baby, in that every person you know will have an opinion on what you should do, say, and feel. But remember, though this is a huge decision, it’s your decision, and one you need to be comfortable with, independent of any outside influences.

So, before you start asking your friends and family for their advice, take the time to educate yourself on all sides of the process: mortgages, comparable properties, market trends. You’ll then be able to filter everyone else’s experiences and advice through your own information. There are tons of free resources available—check out the National Association of Realtors Buyers Guide or the U.S. Dept of Housing and Urban Development to start.

3. A Neighbor is Forever

Or at least, it sometimes feels that way. I made it a point to talk to different people who lived on my street before I bought my house, but was still surprised by some of the neighborhood antics I’ve witnessed. Like the house with six cars, parked on the street, all the time. Or the strange anti-social couple four doors down, or the loud dog next door. Of course, you’re never going to find a place with the perfect neighbors and people can always move in and out—but it’s good to know what you’re getting into on the front end.

4. Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day

And you likely won’t be able to update, furnish, or decorate your new home in a day, a month, or even a year. When I bought my house, I felt a sudden pressure to transform it into a Pottery Barn catalog, but soon realized I would end up losing my mind and my credit score in the process. It’s perfectly OK to update the bathrooms, do the landscaping, and buy furniture and decorations in stages. No one expects your place to be perfect right away! Plus, there are some awesome ways to add character and décor on a budget. Thrift stores and Pinterest will become your new best friends.

5. Two Words: Hidden Costs

Everyone warns you about this, but it doesn’t quite hit you until you’re writing checks to exterminators, carpet cleaners, landscapers, and plumbers. The list goes on—and it certainly doesn’t end after you close on the house. It’s hard to think about saving again after such a big purchase, but you must. Strange and unexpected costs will sneak up on you—broken heating systems, leaking roofs—and they love to arrive around holidays and vacations, when money is already tight. Trust me on this.

While these may not be the most crucial factors in the home-buying process, they were the ones that had the most surprising impact on my experience. And they’re what I still remember, three years later.

Above all, remember that—whatever it looks like and wherever it sits—you should absolutely love the home you buy. It will be a lot of money, time, and work, but also will be where you live, love, and build memories, hopefully for many years to come.

The Internal Interview: How to Nail an Interview at Your Current Company

Published on Forbes: Nov. 13, 2012

You’ve been thinking about making a lateral jump within your company, and you’ve had your eye out for marketing positions for months. Or, your boss knows you’ve been looking to switch into a more creative role, and she’s recommended you for an editorial position in another department. And now, you’ve found yourself with a new job interview—with your own company.

This type of interview might initially seem like it should be less stressful than one you’ve scheduled with an outside organization—but a lot of times, it’s actually more difficult. While the surroundings might be familiar and your interviewer might even be a friendly face, you can’t lose sight of the fact that this is a new position, and you’re likely being evaluated against a slew of other candidates.

That said, being an internal candidate can be a big advantage if you take the right approach. Here are some ways to prepare for an internal interview that can give you a surefire leg up on the competition.

Ask Permission, Not Forgiveness

First things first: Before you even consider applying for a different role within your current place of work, make sure you talk the decision over with your current manager. Why? Well, because word is bound to get out, and you want your boss to hear it from you, not from someone else. Plus, remember that whether you get the job or not, you’re still going to be at the company. And the last thing you want to do is ruffle feathers of any leaders who can impact your future.

Now, if part of your rationale in seeking a new job is to escape a less-than-perfect boss, this can be a little tricky to navigate, but it’s still the appropriate (and safest) way to proceed. And hey, you don’t have to give him or her all the reasons you’re looking for a new role. If you aren’t sure how to go about this, set up a meeting with your HR department to discuss the new position. Many companies even have their own internal processes for employees who want to change roles, and you want to be sure to cover your bases.

Do Your Homework

One benefit of interviewing within your current place of work is that you have easy access to insider info on things like the people sitting on the interview panel, the team you’d be working on, and the parameters of the open position.

Use this to your advantage. Once you’re confirmed as a candidate, start reaching out to any colleagues you feel might be able to help you or give you insight. Try to get a clear picture of what the role will involve and what the hiring managers and your prospective new boss are reallylooking for. If you have a trusted co-worker in the department you’d be moving to, ask for her honest feedback about how you might impress the interviewers, and see if she’d mind helping you run through some potential interview questions or nail down talking points. This is where you can really gain a leg up on any external candidates.

Be Prepared

Sure, you’ll be showing up at the same building you work in every day, but when it comes to your interview, bring the same poise and professionalism you would if you were interviewing with an outside company. This means: Be 100% prepared to answer tough questions and show why you’re the right fit for the position (aside from the fact that you know the ins and outs of the company).

Also, don’t assume that anyone is familiar with your work and accomplishments, even if you’ve been there for a while. Bring your resume, work samples, and an internal reference list—it’s a great way to demonstrate your credibility within the organization.

You should also be ready to talk about your prior experience outside of the company. Sure, they know you, but they may not know (or remember) much about what you’ve done before.

Dress the Part

It should go without saying that interview dress code is important—but it’s especially true when you’re within your current organization. Dressing the part of interviewee shows everyone that you’re taking the process seriously and that you understand the importance of the new role. The last thing you want to do is give the impression that this is “just another day” or that you deserve to get the position without really trying. So whether your typical work ensemble is casual or business formal, pull out that suit on interview day.

Follow Up

You may have just interviewed with someone who you see in the cafeteria everyday, but it’s still a good idea to follow up your interview with a thank-you note. This is a great opportunity to reiterate your interest in the position and thank your interviewers for their time. Personally, I’m a stickler for sending a quality, hand-written note. It may take a bit more time, but it adds a personal touch and level of professionalism that’s somewhat lacking in an email. (Plus, you can drop it in the internal company mailbox—no need to wait for tomorrow’s mail pick-up!)

Above all, when preparing for an internal interview, it’s best to approach the opportunity with the same professionalism you would an external one, while using the fact that you already work there to your advantage. Take the time to prepare carefully, learn about the position, and anticipate what the interviewers will want to know, and you’ll be sure to knock ’em dead.

3 Things that Motivate Millennials (Hint: none of them is more money)

Anywhere you look, there are articles, studies and surveys interpreting the behaviors and motivations of millennials. All this talk is pretty strange to hear if, like me, you make up part of this population. From what I’ve read, we’re a unique blend of entitled, values-driven and mindful young adults. Apparently it was a really big deal that we got honorable mention ribbons at field day in kindergarten, because now we can’t take criticism.

When it comes to our careers, we don’t stay at companies for the 7-10 years our older colleagues did; not because we’re disloyal, but because we become stir crazy if we’re bored. We want to be responsible and plan for the future, but we saw the recession destroy the nation’s economy, so we’re less inclined to trust ambiguous long-term ideals. We fear terrorism and war. We are passionate about making positive changes in our world. We love selfies but are more selfless than you think, and we are nothing like the Kardashians.

If you’re ever bored on a Friday night, google “millennials in the workplace” and snuggle up for some really engaging reading. People are dedicating a crazy amount of time and resources to analyze this age group as we start to overtake the workforce, mostly to determine what motivates us. Well, spoiler alert…it’s not money. And think about it – if it was money – that would make things so easy.

If I had to sum up the driving factors for millennials at work, here’s how it breaks down:

1. Flexibility: We will work long hours, we will get amazing results and we will be loyal and driven at all times. But we aren’t going to do it in a desk from 8 to 5. No. Freaking. Way. We’ve grown up in a world where technology has transformed the very nature of how we work, and being chained to a desk is deflating, to say the least. It confines our creativity, forces us to make unfair trade-offs with regard to other parts of our lives, and makes us feel untrusted to perform without being monitored.
2. Inspiration: Working for and with people who inspire us is a non-negotiable. That notion that we’re entitled? Well, we are when it comes to who we need as role models. Millennials thrive and perform best when working with leaders who drive us to be better each day. We don’t care about your degrees or resume, we want to emulate what makes us feel good and energized, and that is found in inspiring leaders.
3. Recognition. Recognition isn’t found in certificates, plaques or cash. Those things are nice – and I suppose they each have a place – but meaningful recognition, the kind that retains employees and sends them home fulfilled each day, is fostered through trust, mentoring and a supportive team. The best bosses I’ve had weren’t the ones who gave me framed certificates or fought to get me raises, but the ones who recognized my work by giving me new and amazing opportunities, and throwing me into projects way over my head so that I could be pushed to learn on the fly. Recognition needn’t be connected to a particular accomplishment, but should be an underlying part of the culture in any effective organization.

Don’t get me wrong, I like to see what the world perceives me to be, but it’s also frustrating. The very nature of millennials is that we are dynamic and evolving – a transitional generation amid others that are more clearly defined. As millennials continue to comprise a majority of the working world, I have no doubt that the organizations with a keen eye on what motivates and engages this demographic are the ones we will see succeed.

How to Impress When You’re the Youngest One on the Team

Published on Mashable: July 31, 2014

As they say, everyone has to start somewhere.

But being the most junior member on a team is never an easy position, and it can be tough to gain trust and credibility when you’re learning the ropes surrounded by more tenured colleagues.

Part of overcoming this sometimes-awkward stage is achieved simply through patience and hard work, but there are also some tangible things you can do to quickly make an impact, regardless of your rank. Here’s how to gain the trust and respect of your colleagues and position yourself for success when you’re the new kid.

Learn the Business

One of the hardest things about being the low person on the totem pole is that there’s just a lot you don’t know about your field or company. But, that’s a totally fixable problem. The more research you can do—even if it’s anecdotal—the better off you’ll be when it’s time to impress your new team.

First, dedicate time to reading through your company website, social media platforms, and news releases, as well as industry-focused sites and publications, both before you start the job and in your regular weekly routine. Building up your arsenal of knowledge not only helps you do your job better and seem more prepared, it will also make you feel more confident about your lack of time on the job.

Better yet, try to connect with people in your department or those who’ve held the position previously to learn from their experiences and uncover any unforeseen challenges or opportunities. Proactively ask if you can go to coffee or lunch with your new manager or others on the team—even before your official start date. Going that extra step will demonstrate your commitment and start building credibility.

Be Annoyingly Reliable

When you’re the new kid on campus, it’s important to not only make a good first impression, but to keep making good impressions. As people begin to get to know you and feel out your work style, they’ll be testing you to see how you handle different tasks.

My advice is to be unfailingly reliable. This includes everything from being early to meetings to having projects completed on time and always following up with your commitments. (You’d really be surprised how far this goes!) Reliability also extends to include things like your personal appearance and punctuality. Sounds simple, but the more consistency you can demonstrate in all areas, the likelier others are to begin to trust you sooner.

When Mistakes Happen, Own Them

It would be wonderful if we always knew exactly what to do and could deliver it flawlessly. Unfortunately, mistakes happen to everyone—especially when you’re just starting out. And this is actually where a lot of new professionals go wrong—either trying to cover up a mistake or over-apologizing for it.

Here’s the deal: If you find yourself aware of a problem or an error in your work, do your best to address it, but don’t keep others in the dark. Chances are they will hear about it anyway, and if it’s not directly from you, you could damage the credibility you’re working to gain.

That being said, your team won’t just want to hear what went wrong, they’ll want to know how you’re going to fix it. When you approach your co-workers or manager to address an issue, have all the information and facts together as well as your proposed solution. Present this in a calm, professional way, and explain what you’ll do to avoid it occurring again in the future.

Go the Extra Mile, Even When it Feels Like Overkill

The steadier you appear to those around you, the sooner you’ll gain their trust and partnership. So, instead of just showing up to the task at hand, try to anticipate what will be asked of you or your role on a project, and come to meetings prepared in advance. Set up meetings with key contacts and stakeholders and compile as much information as you can so that you are prepared and ready to deliver.

On a less-traditional level, going the extra mile also means having a positive attitude, even when things are stressful and new, and being willing to jump into things that may extend beyond your typical job description. You don’t have to be everything to everyone, but being a “yes person” who is skilled at finding solutions is a tried and true way to build relationships and work effectively with others.

5 Things No One Says To Working Dads

Published on Scary Mommy

So there’s some inequity in the workplace, yes? Apparently this is a thing. As in, women still get paid less for doing the exact same work as men, and we don’t get paid when we take time off to have babies (you know, to support the human race and all). But there’s even more madness for women who are working moms, who often pay a higher emotional tax for the decision to work than our male counterparts. Being a working mom, here are five things I’ve heard so many times that I want to stab myself in the eyeball and that I guarantee my husband has never been asked:

1. Are you coming back after the baby’s born?

It’s a funny question, really, that so many moms hear while they’re pregnant. I don’t blame people for being curious, as it wouldn’t be atypical to decide to stay home, but I don’t think men are ever questioned about this. It drove me nuts that even as the higher income earner in our household and with a more advanced degree, I was the only one who got this question.

2. Does it bother you that someone else is raising your child?

Okay, just stop with this one. Just stop. Daycare is a blessing for our family, a place where my daughter safely learns and thrives in leaps and bounds. My husband and I raise our child, okay? Inferring that her teachers raise her is as logical at 8 months old as it is at 8 years old, and I’m fairly certain no second-grade parents get this question. Whether they’re infants or bubbly teenagers, all kiddos spend time with other caregivers, but our values and beliefs—the heart of our family and what we hope to instill in a future generation—are set at home by us. It breaks my heart when people ask this, but has my husband ever received this question? Negative.

3. Are you coming back after the baby’s born?

It’s a funny question, really, that so many moms hear while they’re pregnant. I don’t blame people for being curious, as it wouldn’t be atypical to decide to stay home, but I don’t think men are ever questioned about this. It drove me nuts that even as the higher income earner in our household and with a more advanced degree, I was the only one who got this question.

4. Does it bother you that someone else is raising your child?

Okay, just stop with this one. Just stop. Daycare is a blessing for our family, a place where my daughter safely learns and thrives in leaps and bounds. My husband and I raise our child, okay? Inferring that her teachers raise her is as logical at 8 months old as it is at 8 years old, and I’m fairly certain no second-grade parents get this question. Whether they’re infants or bubbly teenagers, all kiddos spend time with other caregivers, but our values and beliefs—the heart of our family and what we hope to instill in a future generation—are set at home by us. It breaks my heart when people ask this, but has my husband ever received this question? Negative.

5. Are you coming back after the baby’s born?

It’s a funny question, really, that so many moms hear while they’re pregnant. I don’t blame people for being curious, as it wouldn’t be atypical to decide to stay home, but I don’t think men are ever questioned about this. It drove me nuts that even as the higher income earner in our household and with a more advanced degree, I was the only one who got this question.

2. Does it bother you that someone else is raising your child?

Okay, just stop with this one. Just stop. Daycare is a blessing for our family, a place where my daughter safely learns and thrives in leaps and bounds. My husband and I raise our child, okay? Inferring that her teachers raise her is as logical at 8 months old as it is at 8 years old, and I’m fairly certain no second-grade parents get this question. Whether they’re infants or bubbly teenagers, all kiddos spend time with other caregivers, but our values and beliefs—the heart of our family and what we hope to instill in a future generation—are set at home by us. It breaks my heart when people ask this, but has my husband ever received this question? Negative.

10 Reasons the Baby Thinks I’m a Creep

Published on Scary Mommy

Babies are fascinating for all kinds of reasons, none more prevalent than the fact that they can’t tell us what they’re thinking.

When my daughter learns to speak, I’m pretty sure she’ll have some direct feedback about the way things go down at our house, and what she wishes I would do differently. Like when I forgo heating her bottles, inflicting a gnarly baby head rush with cold milk. She’d also probably let me know that all kinds of things I do every day are completely creepy from her perspective.

Here are a few of the ways I’m confident I creep her out on the daily:

1. I watch her sleep. All the time. I know video monitors are common, but imagine trying to fall asleep knowing you were being watched from afar.

2. I have a legitimate desire to eat her cheeks and toes. In fact, I refer to them as edible when I describe her. I read there’s actual science behind this maternal desire, but that doesn’t make it seem any better!

3. I have an innate interest in her poop. Frequency, color, you name it.

4. I take pictures and videos of her obsessively. I have archives of images and video footage and it’s only been six months. You know in crime shows when the crazed serial killer has a massive wall collage of photos of their victim? That could be me, only in an adoring sense. And don’t get me started on the absurd noises I use to make her smiles for said photos.

5. I don’t always have the energy to shower. For this I know she judges me. I would be appalled if my caretaker neglected to bathe.

6. I taste-test all baby food before giving it to her. Come one, I know I’m not alone here. If I”m splurging for organic, I want to know it’s good.

7. Mom refers to herself in the third person.

8. Her carseat is rear-facing, so I have a mirror on the back-seat headrest so I can see her while I drive.

9. I choose her outfits based on my own moods. A case of the Mondays usually means we trend toward grays, whereas Fridays are bright and saucy wardrobe days.

10. I speak on her behalf and make up complete nonsense. This would piss me off beyond belief if roles were reversed. “Mom’s a little fussy wussy today because she’s just sooo sleepy. She really needs a nap. I also think she needs to poop.”

12 Things I Thought About Babies…Before I Had One

Published on Scary Mommy: November 2014 

1. Maternity Leave will be a nice break from work. I mean yeah, I don’t miss conference calls, commuting or having to dress up everyday, but this isn’t quite the vacation I imagined. Because now I work 20 hours a day, without pay, while being covered in vomit and poop.

2. It’ll be easy to get out with the baby. Except that it first involves packing for approximately two hours, changing the baby five times (who undoubtedly will throw up on herself while being changed), folding up the stroller using magic origami and ninja skills to get it in the car, all while attempting to not get covered in baby puke as you execute prior steps.

3. I won’t need that much help. Unless you count always and all the time. I want help 24 hours a day. I want help for my help. I want constant assistance in all things.

4. I’ll fall in love with the baby immediately. I mean yes, there is an instant and inexplicable bond, and an awe-inspiring sense of wonder, but I think the real love comes a bit more gradually, as the terror subsides and you get to know the baby. It’s in full force now, and grows every hour, but the first few days and weeks were so ridiculously hard, that I think I felt the full spectrum of every emotion from love to hate to insanity.

5. Post-partum depression and emotions won’t be a big deal. Unless you consider debilitating sadness and despair easy to handle on no sleep.

6. The fatigue isn’t as bad as people say. No, it’s WORSE. As my brother reminds me, sleep deprivation is a form of torture for suspected terrorists. So, no biggie. You’ll just LOSE YOUR MIND.

7. I’ll be ready to go back to work. See numbers  5 and 6.

8. It’ll be easy to get back in shape since I’m not working. Not only is there no time, there’s no energy or desire. I’ve been a fitness addict most of my adult life, which makes it even more alarming that I could not care less about it right now. I have zero desire to exercise, and if I did, I wouldn’t have the time or energy to do so.

9. I won’t be influenced by things I read online. This one might have stood a chance if there weren’t 20 hours a day spent feeding a baby where your smartphone is your only outlet to the world. Enter Google madness.

10. I will naturally be good at being a mom. Maybe on some levels I am, in that the baby is healthy and thriving (hooray!), but I doubt myself constantly and generally feel like a total mess.

11. Nursing will be magical. It was, and then it wasn’t. And ultimately it wasn’t the best choice for us. And that was a tough pill to swallow, since society kind of shuns formula. I was amazed at how supportive momma friends were about this though, and I’m grateful for that.

12. I won’t rely on other moms for advice because I’ll pave my own way. Let me say this: I wouldn’t have made it without the love, guidance and advice of my friends and family. I mean that wholeheartedly. I am so, SO blessed to have a huge network of helpful moms and dads in my life, who have become the village I so desperately need to raise my daughter. They understand exactly what I’m feeling and fearing at any given time and are constantly offering reassurance. We all wear the same badge of honor and battle scars, forming a critical bond. I’ve also had amazing support from friends who aren’t parents, but still know just the right things to say and the best ways to help me feel better in the toughest moments.

Should You Ever Say Perfectionism is Your Greatest Weakness?

Published on The Muse: April 28, 2014

One of the most common—and most dreaded—interview questions out there is, “What’s your biggest weakness?”

And you’ve probably heard that a great answer is something along the lines of, “Well, I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist.” It addresses the question directly, but still presents you in a positive light—who wouldn’t want an employee with an overwhelming commitment to quality, especially in fields where details make the difference?

But is this really an appropriate answer? Do recruiters still buy it—even if it’s sort of true?

Here’s the thing: Chances are, telling a hiring manager that perfectionism is your greatest weakness won’t surprise him or her—and it might come off as sounding like an overly rehearsed cliché. It also doesn’t offer much of a true insight into your work style or personality (especially if half the other candidates are giving the same response).

So, here’s how to answer instead. If you’re not truly held back by perfectionist tendencies, look for something else to talk about—the fact that you’re working on speaking up more in meetings, for example, or that delegating doesn’t come naturally to you.

And if you are? There are ways to explain that perfectionism is your greatest weakness that really demonstrate authenticity. You can deliver a more effective and unique answer by explaining that you tend to be extra critical of your own work, that you have a propensity to overthink projects before diving in, or that you always like to deliver an exceptional product, which means you’re often working up against deadlines. (And then following up with all the ways you’re actively seeking to improve this trait, of course.)

These answers are much more individualized, and they provide a launchpad for a meaningful conversation with your interviewer—which is really what you’re going for. Remember that, when asking this question, interviewers aren’t looking for super-human candidates whose only weakness is that they’re “a little too perfect.” They’re looking for people who know themselves—both their strong suits and points of weakness—and who can improve on those things. And more than anything, they’re looking for a real person.

In short, if you can answer authentically, connect with your interviewer, and provide a personal insight—it’ll go much, much further than some canned response.

Your Company’s in Turmoil. Should You Jump Ship?

Published on Forbes: Feb. 26, 2014

If you’ve ever worked for a company that’s having a particularly bad year or simply not performing as well as expected, you know firsthand what an unsettling environment it can create. A company facing declining sales or profits quickly turns into a pretty stressful place to work, and employees (at every level) are often at the forefront of the chaos.

Not surprisingly, this type of environment typically spurs people to jump into job-seeking action, hurriedly updating their resumes and networking away. But, as I’ve seen with many companies (and their many ups and downs), that’s not always the right answer.

After all, whether public or private, large or small, businesses naturally go through performance cycles. And while a steady decline or set of unexpected challenges can cause things to spiral downhill rapidly, an occasional downturn is generally nothing to panic about. What’s more, a tumultuous workplace can actually facilitate the creation of valuable opportunities and experiences.

If your company is entering choppy waters, here are three questions to ask yourself to determine if it’s time to jump ship or settle in for the long haul.

Is All Instability Created Equal?

Your first step is to dig into the causes of what’s going on and the factors that might have prompted this change. Read what’s being said about your company in media outlets, and ask your manager or another leader you trust what he or she thinks about the situation. Is this problem something that’s occurring in multiple companies across the same industry? Are there strategies or plans in place to address them? If the answer to both of these questions is yes, you might be more inclined to stay put than if current challenges are tied back to poor leadership or a lack of flexibility to changing market conditions. Or, if other companies are suffering with the same challenges, things aren’t likely to be any better in a new setting.

What Could You Lose if You Leave?

A position with a new company can be exciting and energizing, especially if you’re taking on more appealing responsibilities. But bear in mind that when the prestige wears off, any new role will have its own ups and downs, and being the new kid on the block can be draining. Not to mention, as a new employee, you have to reinitiate the process of gaining tenure and credibility (and vacation time!), comforts you were likely accustomed to at your prior position. This is a natural part of any job change, of course, and nothing to lose sleep over, but it’s important to keep in mind when considering a quick change.

What Could You Gain if You Stay?

When companies enter a period of slow or negative growth, the focus often shifts to manageable expenses, e.g., their workforce. It’s not uncommon to see companies temporarily cease hiring or restructure teams. While this might initially seem like more work for fewer people to share, it can also open doors to new opportunities or collaborations that previously didn’t exist. For example, if a sales team cuts down staff in each territory, it might mean new clients for you, or more direct access to department leaders. You’ll also gain experience working through ambiguity and leading in unsteady conditions, a skill that future employers will undoubtedly recognize and appreciate.

It’s easy to get caught up in the stress of your company’s growing pains and organizational shifts. In serious instances, you might see layoffs and other severe measures taken to preserve financial stability, without much warning or explanation. But if you truly believe in your company and think that your leaders have the drive and ability to turn things around, a lot can be gained by staying the course. (And hey, you’ll always have the option to reconsider your decision at a later point and move on if it becomes your best option.)

Plus, it’s important to remember that throughout history, all the best companies in the world have had their rough years, and most of them still came out on top, no doubt with a greater sense of what is needed for success.